Blood, sweat and tears, it's finally over.

As many of you know (or as two of you know, depending on how many people actually read this blog) I finished the IB program ten days ago. On Wednesday I will graduate for real, and my time as an IB diploma student will be over.
It is truly strange to sit down in front of the computer when I get home and not study. The pressure to study these last six months has really gotten to me, I think it has gotten to all of us. Sleep is probably what has been affected the most. I know that "we can sleep after IB" had become a regular expression among us as the exams got closer. Now that it is all over, and has been over for several days, there is still that anxiety attacking me when I go to bed and realize I have not studied for tomorrow.
I have been in school full-time for twelve years. Thirteen if you count the "six-year school" but honestly, all we did was play with plastic dinosaurs, sang songs and re-enacted the Lion King in the pillow room, so perhaps it should be counted among the kindergarten years instead.
But twelve years. I admit the first few were not always about studying, but it was still school. You had to get up early in the morning, go away to an institution you definitely loathed certain days and you have to learn. Oh the learning. Now I cherish every new piece of information about the world, but at ten? I couldn't care less about what happened if you divided 33. (to be honest, math has never been that high up on the priority list. Though I have gotten quite better at division since then.) I always liked the books though. The getting lost in other worlds. The cozying down under the covers on a rainy (or sunny) day and just read.
I always did like learning to a certain extent (IB has forever ruined that expression for me.) I was is somewhat of a know-it-all, so I loved arguing with people. And I was always right. Always. Never wrong. Always right.
I am going off to University of course. If things go my way, I will be sitting in Scotland next September, reading a book of my literature list and enjoying the finer things in life. And by finer, I mean IB all over again. Only worse. But before all of this, I am taking a year off. I think it's good to take a year off, especially after IB. It's so different from the Swedish system in thinking and in tempo. When all my friends complained about only have a week to write a paper, I was at home trying to write the one we had been given today. Due tomorrow. It was fun though, I won't deny it. I have met some wonderful people I know I will continue to be friends with for a long while and I've learnt a lot. Not just about history or maths, but about my own strengths  and weaknesses. Though so very cliched, I have climbed out of the shell I was in, and now I can actually talk to strangers. Who would have thought that could be possible.
It is just so strange, that after three years of hard-core studying, I will do nothing for a whole year. I will be working of course, but there will be no essays to write. To seminars to get ready for. No tests to study for, no syllabuses to read and definitely no CAS hours to complete. I'll be free.
After a life that has been defined by school for twelve years, I will be able to pick up a good book of my own choosing (no more Prep in my house) and just read. I will be able to make plans without the constant "oh, I have to study!"I will be able to sleep for a whole night.
There you have it. My end of school post. I don't really know how I feel about it. Of course it is not really the end, as uni is just over a year away, but it's the end here. I will most likely never study in Sweden again.

I'm Sarah and I am done.